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I lost my best girlfriend because she hated me so much for being happy. Literally hated me, or hated herself for what she had. And it looked nothing like what I had at all. But I am the one who didn't look for someone to 'take care of me'. Yet I am the one who found that. Is it because I yield to 'us'. Is it because I listen and when I have to, say what bothers me? Or is it because I don't manipulate, talk down or scheme my way in or out of what I want or need? I think it's because someone loves me. And I love/adore/listen to him. I have been told I am the 'buzz' around the playground at my daughter's school as they watch me be buckled into the car. Or I have my hand taken before I walk anywhere. I love my relationship with my husband. What we do, or who we are is different from many others, including others with taken in hand relationships. My husband is a highly sensitive man, very successful and rarely social with anyone other than me. He interacts with dozens of business like minded people, yet remains aloof to everyone around him but me. He is tall, strong and handsome and I know I am envied. But I am the only one he focuses on. I am the only one who gets his full attention all day every day. And I also know it's my constant response that feeds his constant watchful eye. If any other of the women who chat about me were to have this kind of 'under the microscope' attention they would melt from the intensity. Not a very 'equal' feeling. But there is little equal in my taken in hand life. In fact I say I have the lions share of everything that is good! If responding to positive attention, time shared and enjoyed with family and intimacy is less than equal, bring it on! I am not a submissive woman, yet am very submissive to my husband. He is a feminist in all ways, except with me. I guess the best part of all this: I just have nothing to prove. Or argue or fight for. Mutual respect is such a simple concept. The yield is what makes it so good.

-Blush

by Blush on 2006 Mar 7 - 02:59 | reply to this comment
blaming
A core difference between a taken in hand lifestyle and other, more traditional relationships is the concept of blaming.

Definition: Blame:
1. To hold responsible.
2. To find fault with; censure.
3. To place responsibility for (something)


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