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Yes, if you are using “forgiveness” in the sense you outlined at the beginning. When they are sticking the knife in is the most important time to forgive. You don’t say “I forgive you” (the kind of fake forgiveness the first poster referred to)- that’s both presumptuous and not what it’s about. It’s about thinking- “You are fucked up but obviously can’t help it, and it’s your problem. I’m going to stand up for what’s right and what’s mine without anger. If you don’t aggree I’m going to go to my lawyer or the police or maybe I’ll just have to live with the unfairness if there is no recourse but oh well life isn’t always fair.”
Of course this requires a level of zen that isn’t always achievable- but always better to try than to think “I deserve to hate this person and so I’m going to take full advantage of that opportunity and hate hate hate- to forgive would be to somehow letting him off the hook.”
